Bisexual 18-year-old Journey Smith is trying to piece her life back together after a suicide attempt. Classes at the local city college; a new friendship with her crush, Etta; and a volunteer job at a crisis hotline provide moments of genuine happiness, but recovery is neither simple nor straightforward. She doubts her bipolar diagnosis, is still haunted by the breakup and traumatic car accident that led to her downward spiral, and struggles to rebuild relationships with loved ones. Journey is a sarcastic poet, and her voice reflects that, shifting seamlessly from resonant prose to humorous observation ("Everyone keeps asking how I'm doing and I say fine. Fine can also mean a very small particle, you know"). Alternating between the past--the days immediately following Journey's hospitalization--and the present several months later, the narrative also includes Journey's frequent addresses to her past and future selves, reinforcing the often-nonlinear nature of healing. There are no easy answers in Gardner's (The Second Life of Ava Rivers) tough but deeply rewarding latest, but there is hope in its message that there is no singularly correct road to recovery--and that the journey is worthwhile. Ages 13--up. Agent: Claire Anderson-Wheeler, Regal Hoffmann and Assoc. (Jan.)

Gr 9 Up--Journey Smith is a bisexual high school senior who recently attempted suicide by swallowing pills. As she dealt with her parents' divorce and a car accident, Journey's parents got her help and she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Now, as she takes college classes and volunteers at a crisis center, Journey finds a new crush in Etta, whom she meets at orientation. Journey still struggles with her mental illness and is on a path to figure it all out. As stated in an author's note, this is a work of fiction but inspired by Gardner's own experience. The narrative is divided into three parts, with the first alternating between the present and what happened right after Journey's suicide attempt. Gardner does not shy from the truth of Journey's experience but is sensitive in her portrayal. Journey's attempted suicide does occur in the book but is handled in a way suited to the target audience, as is another call into the crisis center. Journey's ethnicity is never stated, and her mother is described as having "bottle-red-hair" and pale gold eyes. VERDICT A worthy addition to library collections, especially for those looking to expand their mental health collections and add more titles featuring LGBTQIA characters.--Amanda Borgia, Uniondale P.L., NY

An achingly authentic depiction of cycling through depression and healing. Journey has just survived a suicide attempt, and her attempts to pick up her life again range from volunteering at a crisis hotline to avoiding her close friend Marisol and ex-boyfriend, Jonah, and taking classes at a community college that will double as credits to finish high school. She develops a crush on her classmate Etta, which is requited, but her depression and struggle with therapy and psychiatric medications make bisexual Journey feel like too much of a burden to be in a relationship, much as she longs to be her girlfriend. Her divorced parents are reeling from Journey's trauma, rare parents in YA who are as multidimensional as the teens. The story is told in an alternating past/present format, though present-tense narration throughout and unsteady pacing make that hard to follow. Gardner's depiction of mental illness, both through Journey's own continual suicidal ideation and her therapists' and doctors' explanations of the difference between ideation and attempt, is deft and thoughtful. Trigger warnings are absolutely necessary, but the masterful handling gives the book bibliotherapeutic potential for readers struggling with the same issues or those who want to better understand the Journeys in their lives. Most characters are coded White; Etta has brown skin, and cosmopolitan, multilingual Marisol is French and Puerto Rican. An incredibly tough but worthwhile read. (author's note) (Fiction. 15-adult) Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.