A text-heavy, joke-filled monograph about a dreaded bestowal. In this meta text, an unseen narrator gripes about everything they wish they had received as a present, including a dog and a skateboard. "Now I feel like I have to read it," the narrator grumps about their book gift. In subsequent spreads, they express their frustration. Sensitive bibliophiles beware: The narrator is ruthless in their scorn of giving books as presents. Some may tire of the message, repeated page after page in different ways: "Look, I'm a doer, not a reader," one page reads, accompanied by an image of a muscled arm. The narrator makes references to clogging the toilet with homemade slime ("I told them it most definitely wasn't me")--a moment that will appeal to older kids who can grasp and revel in the humor. Human skin is shown as printer paper white, tan, and blue. Layouts are boisterous yet uncluttered, using text in various sizes, colors, and fonts. Pleasant near-pastel yellow, blue, and purple back up goofy illustrations, sure to draw interest even if the quips go over younger kids' heads. Some elements, like the desire to receive X-ray vision as a present, will resonate widely with the target audience, though the story largely treads similar ground as Greenfield and Lowery's I Don't Want To Read This Book (2021). (This book was reviewed digitally.) A potential gift for fans of the contributors' earlier work. (Picture book. 5-8) Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.